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ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON II: Ant-Man X Hoihoi-San
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! EAST X WEST! CUTE X BADASS! ADORABLE X AWESOME! This is the ultimate battle of the Tiny Fighter! Who will come out on top: A Superhero, or a Superdoll? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Ant-Man.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Hoihoi-san.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning (Cues Half Minute Hero: The Second Coming OST - End of OVERTURE) Scott Lang has been through too many failures all his life. One day, he was contacted by Tony Stark about a weapon that many Japanese think are cute, but are secretly Scott's arch nemesis for killing his Insect Allies. Scott Lang: How do I know I can trust you, after all we've been through? Stark stated he used Jarvis, his program to analyze the entire night to see what such a monster as a Mere Doll can do. As it turned out, Jarvis got no information as such dolls don't like being watched. Stark then trashed the doll and instead, used simple insecticide to kill the little buggers. Scott Lang: So why the hell are you calling me, Tony? Stark stated that as Ant-Man, he could sneak into a house in Japan that is armed with what Stark referred to as "Hoihoi-san", and destroy it. Scott Lang: I know this could compromise what's left of our relationship, but if those bugs are getting annihilated night after night, I need to help them whatever I can. You got a deal, Man... Tony Stark: No problamo. You'll do just fine as a former Avenger. I'll contact S.H.I.E.L.D., and they'll dispatch a chopper to wherever they can find such terrorist toys. I'll cover you when you find Hoihoi-san, Jarvis will help too. Just bring your suit. Scott Lang: OK. In a S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicopter, Scott was preparing his ANT-MAN suit for combat. As the chopper was over the target location, Ant-Man was told to perform a Forced EVAC. He simply jumped out. As he landed, Stark contacted Ant-Man... Tony Stark: OK, this is the Tachibana Residence. They Have a Hoihoi-san with a full arsenal. They may see the bot as cute, but I saw cuter from Squirrel Girl. Dispatch the weapon, & get the hell out of there. Ant-Man: Got it. Tony Stark: Jarvis will help you from here. I'll be preparing my press conference about DEADPOOL as a danger to society. Jarvis, It's all you. (Half Minute Hero: The Second Coming OST - End of OVERTURE Ends.) Jarvis: Yes, Mr. Stark. As the two entered the old house, something turned on. It was Hoihoi-san. As it released from it's base, it put on its boots, which squeaked like a Rubber Duck. Ant-Man heard this, and used his ability to shrink to the size of an ant to combat whatever is killing all the insects. Hoihoi-san: (Translated from Japanese) Confirmed enemy sight on maneuver. Will eliminate immediately. Ant-Man knew Hoihoi-san was already at her target(s), but he couldn't understand what she was saying... Ant-Man: Jarvis, can you translate what she said? Jarvis: Isn't it obvious? she simply found the target, and is seconds away from killing it. Ant-Man: Shit. We got to get to her now! Jarvis: Yes, Mr. Lang. Ant-Man ran as Jarvis' AI followed suit. Hoihoi-san, though, already destroyed a swarm of cockroaches with no chance of survival. Hoihoi-san: (Translated from Japanese) Extermination Complete. Ant-Man then found the Monster that essentially put, disintegrated the Cockroaches, and targeted him as an "Unknown Insect, proceed with caution." Hoihoi-san: (Translated from Japanese) I detected what might be a huge threat to our purpose. Request permission to exterminate Jarvis: Apparently we're dealing with an organization. She's not the only one. Ant-Man: Damnit. Hoihoi Base of Operations: (Translated from Japanese) Permission Granted. (Cues Neptunia V II - Uranus (Extended) (HD)) Ant-Man: Shit, now she's about to kill us! Jarvis: You are a Superhero; use your moves! Ant-Man: At least you're better than my Ex... By that point, Ant-Man changed heights to be on equal heights with Hoihoi-san... Without his trusty Insect allies, Ant-Man had to focus on pure strength, is opposed to the doll who doesn't even need to strike with her hands, or feet to attack. But if Ant-Man fought Doctor Doom, and won, this should be a cakewalk... Hoihoi-san got her guns ready, as Ant-Man got his fighting stance ready... The Fight NO ESCAPE... FIGHT! 59.9-52.6: As Hoihoi locked onto her target, Ant-Man was running as fast as a triathlon sprinter, while the bunny ear wearing doll was using her SMG. The rounds were right behind Ant-Man, until he finally got behind the lifeless robot. But as he was about to do a suplex, Hoihoi pointed her grenade launcher at the superheroes face. The suplex happened anyway... 52.1-39.8: As the Doll was thrown what felt like a mile away, she used a Mace and chain to stop the recoil. Ant-Man then used his gauntlets to punch Hoihoi with a bio electrical disruption effect, but she used a pistol to the leg, halting the attack. By that point, Jarvis finished its analysis, and alerted Ant-Man about what he knows now. 50.5-42.7: Jarvis: Based on these readings, she has a myriad of guns including Machine Guns, Pistols, Rifles, the works. She also has- 42.5-40.6: Ant-Man: WILL YOU SHUT UP, JARVIS!? I GET IT! But Hoihoi was about to pull out something; something BIG... 38.7-26.8: It turned out to be a Minigun. Hoihoi pulled the lever, and she was spread firing all over. Ant-Man kicked the Minigun out of Hoihoi's hands, and was about to overload her if it weren't for her pulling out a Katana, and tried to kill in one attack, but Ant-Man easily grabbed the blade, and snapped it off. The doll then tossed it aside and pulled out a Beam Rifle... 25.5-10.2: Ant-Man was staring in front of the barrel of a Type Two Weapon. Worse, Jarvis analyzed something more. 24.6-23.1: Jarvis: Don't reject me, hear me out Lang! 22.9-21.2: Ant-Man: What? Plasma on my tail! 22-17.3: Jarvis: It turns out she can pilot armor as well! She's just holding back to buy time! 16.9-15.7: Ant-Man: Got it! As Hoihoi was about to fire a round of laser, Ant Man took the gun from her hand, threw it to the ground, and crushed it with his foot. But it was a small price to pay as she was now using her ultimate weapon; a Mech suit with Giant Arms that can transform to, and from their answer to the Kawasaki Hayabusa, that and she had both, which made for a full mech set... 11-10.3: Ant-Man: Goddammit. 10.1-0.1: As Ant-Man was about to electrocute the lumbering beast, Hoihoi simply kicked him, sending him flying. She then locked onto him, blasted energy bursts, and was juggling Ant-Man. He tried all he could to fight, but one focused strike was enough to obliterate the Superhero Reject. Jarvis, on the other hand, escaped to tell the tale. (Neptunia V II - Uranus (Extended) (HD) Ends.) K.O.! For the rest of the night, Hoihoi-san went, and cleaned up the battle scarred area, until sunrise. Nobody suspected the fight happened... ...In Japan at least. Meanwhile back at Stark Residence, Jarvis gave the grim news... (Cues Mad Father OST - Light Left) Jarvis: Master Stark, this may sound foolish, but I have bad news. Tony Stark: So do I. Apparently everyone was SO FRIGGEN FOR DEADPOOL, my points were considered irrelevant. Geez, It's no wonder people like him so much...! You? Jarvis: Scott Lang was killed by Hoihoi-san. We can Mourn later; I at least fond out about their sheer ability... These entities are capable of using weapons of all kinds! They could induce fear into Taskmaster like Moon Knight would! Are you even LISTENING? Tony Stark: Don't worry; I know all too well of their destructive power. It's called the internet y'know. Also, that's Just Unit-3 we're dealing with. There are others like her that might be more powerful than her. If it weren't for Ant-Man, we would've found out so much; not that I'm selfish about his death though... Jarvis: Fear not, she is powerful, but she can be stepped on like a crumpled piece of parchment. The two then realized they had a lot to do before fighting Hoihoi-san again... Tony took a swig of liquor, and began creating an anti-Hoihoi weapon... Jarvis was still interested at what else the squeaky monster could do... Results/Credits (Cues "Hello, world." - BGM - ロッキングアウト) THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... HOIHOI-SAN! Ant-Man is owned by MARVEL. Hohhot-san is from One Shot Bug Killer!! Hoihoi-san, owned by Konami. End of OVERTURE is from Half Minute Hero: SECOND COMING, owned by MarvelousAQL. Uranus is from Neptunia V II, owned by !dea Factory/Compile Heart. Light Left is from Mad Father, created by Sen. ロッキングアウト is from "Hello, world.", owned by Nitro+. Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed One Minute Melees Category:Small Only themed One Minute Melees Category:'East vs West' themed One Minute Melees Category:Cute vs Cool themed One Minute Melees Category:BMHKain